one more night

the end should be a good one.
no rain clouds to trickle down and romanticize the tears that come with the bitten lip.  it's past thoughts, it's the what if's, its life happening and facing mortality and skipping stones on the street corners to go stage right to a broken lamppost. maybe it's because there is a week left till i'm on the other side. i want to gain it all, i want to break it all, i want to lose it all, and i want someone to build us back up again in the hallway between shuffle steps..

i start with your voice, i imagine sounds on a record player, i close my eyes and i sing about one more night and blend into fiction..i feel something hot on a cheek and imagine a half kiss before i realize -
i am alone, and that sense of someone lingers on and it holds me close and i fast forward through the songs that tickle unreality beneath my toes, and i make up my own lyrics when the buttons don't work quick like..  how dreams hold me to that space...  how does the past kick me to the juice box of an infinite equation,
just leave the light on for me.

my thoughts have been creeping backwards, to that place that lies behind a glass wall, shrouded in sunset and stormy skies...L.L.L i can't roll it off my tongue..i light a candle, i focus away, i try to forget,  or at least remember or attempt to understand why things affect me so.  there are parts of my life i cannot bin. so i draw the shades for my windowed soul and trace ripples in water, and hum as my cover up of the past comes smooth and sure and it's about time for bright colours in the hen house...i learned a trick or two.. i painted an image, i held on to the spirit.. i watched as broken french flashed across my screen and my mind clicked on a tab alt. click. 
i'm better than i was, i'm different than i am... i touch my toes and count to ten before spinning off to the horizon...  i never needed a saviour, i only needed my rollerskates to help me round the rink a few times... i want to say somethings i never could before...thinks i never dared before...

i want to wake up next to you.

one more night, that was a good one.